Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
