Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
the night ended with taco bell and tears
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize