all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
