You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
