it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
