We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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