I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
