the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
