soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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