Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
