what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
