i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
