I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
