I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
