We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
