I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
