how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
