at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize