Porn is love you can see.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
