I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
