I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I got inside last night via doggy door
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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