Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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