the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
