was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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