i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
