id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
