don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
