I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
