Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
