Christians are straight up FREAKS
Duck Duck Cougar?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
