Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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