we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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