Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
