Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
