was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
