The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
