She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So much rum. So many feels.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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