So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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