If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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