i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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