I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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