So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
