do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
