So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
