it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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