Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
