so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
