My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
