Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
