u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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