Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
