i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
