I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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