Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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