dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
