you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just pee around me
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
